Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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