the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
did i just pee glitter
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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