I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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