Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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