just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i believe in u and ur pee
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
