Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
