I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
