Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize