Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
