so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
