How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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