i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
