Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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