where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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