Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Im part way to drunk.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
