Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
