i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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