Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
