I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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