i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
