Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
