im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
