I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My vagina is officially offended.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
