i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
