he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
