shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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