4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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