4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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