At least make sure they are 18
Why
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
