I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
