Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
