the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize