I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
