the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize