What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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