She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I am full of burrito and curiosity
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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