Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
