Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm sobbing to NWA
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize