My vagina just recognized that song.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
