so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
