We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
