So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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