Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Your tits are I can't wait for
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize