Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
