I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
