He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
And then he peed in my hair
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
