like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
