You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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