maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize