I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
