Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Every concussion has its silver lining
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
