I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
