pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
