just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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