I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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