i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
