dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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